Here I am...doing it! Writing, creating art and sharing content LIKE IT'S MY JOB on this beautiful website that I designed and built myself! Not that building this site was difficult because, to be clear, I am not a web-designer and I do not know how to write code, which means I would not choose something that was difficult to do. This Squarespace website is set up for newbies like me who have no experience with that kind of thing, but need to share their creative work on a beautiful platform for a small fee. It's super fab and I am a fan.
AHHH, yes. Here I am. Doing this thing called My True Work. Following this path called My True Path. Working for myself & making a creative career. My soul is jumping around doing little cartwheels and fancy dances while simultaneously taking a big-fat-deep breathe.
EXHALE. Jump for joy. Smile.
That's what it feels like when you start showing up and doing the work you are meant to do in the world. It feels like joy. It feels like energy. It feels like you don't care how hard you have to work or how many hours you have to put in or how little sleep you end up getting. It feels like bliss even when it feels painful.
I am well aware that making a leap from regular paid work to freelance creative work looks like insanity mixed with big dollops of bravery to some people on the outside. But what some people see as my journey holds no weight to me if they aren't in the same arena doing the same work trying to get to the same truth: WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU HERE?
That was a question that I had to face about five years ago when I went through a small but intense unraveling of what I perceived to be my purpose in life. Back then I was not living in accordance with my true path and it started to take a toll on my health and my sanity. It was at this juncture that I knew in a deep way that I had to make art and pursue a creative life or, basically, die.
I know that sounds dramatic, and it is, but that's exactly how it felt for me then, and every step along the way over this past five years. Whenever I would get scared and consider giving up on my dream of pursuing a creative life, I felt like the only other option would be to just give up altogether. The call for me to do this work is that strong.
And the choice to make a leap out of a job that provided a steady income was indeed a scary choice that I wrestled with over and over, back and forth. But in the end I knew that if I didn't try, I would never know what I was capable of, nor would I grow into the person I am meant to be. And that, my dear friends, would be a monumental shame.
I have, over the past five years, chipped away at the dream. I have toiled, painted, researched, drawn, talked, saved, scraped, failed, succeeded, learned, tried, grown, cried, laughed and carried a whisper in my heart until it grew into a quiet murmur and then a solid cheering voice. I've exhibited and posted and painted over and sold and tossed and given art away. I've dreamed and schemed and planned and developed a plan. I have been careful and I have been fierce at letting the dream grow. I have nourished it and protected it. Watered it and felt dizzy by the sheer massiveness of it. I have been responsible and I have been stubborn and here I am to show others that we can all chip away, bit by bit, at the dream we possess in the deepest core of our hearts and one day we can all say, with clear confidence, "Let's do this." Let's go.
That's where I am and I'm so excited to share my journey as it unfolds. Thank you for being here, it means the world to me.
If you liked reading this post and what you see on this site, please consider adding your name to my quickly growing list of newsletter subscribers by signing up here. In my monthly newsletter I share tips, advice, and exclusive offers. Be the first to know and also become eligible for free gifts and cool things.